Mello, Matt

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Their time at the hotel is almost up. Meetings had been held, locations inspected, and everything was perched on the edge of being ready. But it wasn't quite, and Matt had, after all, insisted that Mello needed a break. A mental recovery period, as it were, to complement Matt's physical one. His back still hurts a bit, and there's a scar there, and when Mello's fingers brush over it his blood still runs cold. That should stop eventually, but it hasn't, yet.]

[That was the first problem with taking time off.]

[The second was, of course, the fact that Mello gets incredibly restless in a very short span of time, so any efforts in the name of relaxation are hopelessly wasted. And worse, it annoys him the way it always has, which leaves him feeling restless and irritable.]

[He takes a shower to calm his nerves but on the way out of the bathroom he pulls a towel over his head roughly, more to get the action over with than out of any real desire to get his hair dry. And he tries not to think about anything that might be happening outside of this room, with himself and Matt and the tv turned off so that he wouldn't end up compulsively watching the news again.]

[He leaves the towel draped around his neck as he heads straight to the nightstand and tugs the drawer open with a little grumble.]

Comments

[catchthemgone.livejournal.com]

[...well that wasn't the reaction Sullivan was expecting at all, but he can't say that he isn't a little relieved. At least Mello isn't hollering at him. Yet, anyway.]

[It's hard not to watch the odd calmness with which Mello gives his orders, but once Matt switches the tv set on Sullivan manages to tear his eyes away and focus on the news report - halfway through some plump police officer refusing to give too many details about the sudden death of Miles Cohen, recently arrested for the shooting of....]

[Sullivan lowers his head a bit, not sure of whether or not to stay for the whole thing. But since Mello hasn't told him otherwise, he stands in place, listening to the news.]

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

[It takes a handful of seconds watching the television screen for Matt to get incredibly suspicious - mostly because his first thought upon hearing Cohen's name is to wince with the memory of unbelievable pain.]

[Once that initial reaction has passed, however, he frowns. Cohen, dead, that can't be a coincidence. And Mello...]

[He glances at Mello.]

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Mello keeps his eyes on the screen, watching without displaying any sort of reaction. No reaction was necessary, really; he knows that Matt will figure it out, of course, and even Sullivan might have his suspicions, but it doesn't matter.]

[The report rolls on, inevitably turning to just how Cohen had died (heart attack in his cell, and no one had been there at the time, and so on). Mello presses his lips together.]

Figures the bloody idiot would get himself killed.

[He drops his head slightly in something like remorse; in truth, as satisfying and necessary as it was, Mello feels slightly sickened at the idea. L had said no names would be released, but the information had been leaked anyway, in spite of those orders.]

[Mello flexes his fingers for lack of his rosary around his neck.]

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

[Heart attack. Kira. L had said no names would hit the public, which means one of two things: either Kira's been keeping tabs on people involved in that incident, researching their identities, or someone leaked it to the press.]

[Maybe Matt's a little cynical (maybe), but he doubts Kira gives a shite about them, quite frankly. Which means...]

[It makes sense, really. Mello isn't a particularly forgiving person, and Cohen had proven himself useless by melting down, which was bad enough, but he'd also shot Matt. Even by accident, that was probably more than Mello was willing to tolerate, even from afar. And aside from that, he'd been set up to take the fall for Mello's kill. That made him dangerous.]

[Matt takes a drag, keeping himself from looking too long at Mello - no reason to draw more suspicion from Sullivan than he'd come up with on his own.]

Yeah. Guess that sort of thing happens.

[Another drag.]

[catchthemgone.livejournal.com]

[Sullivan shifts in place, oddly uncomfortable with how this was going. It wasn't that he expected Mello to be grieved by Cohen's death - not after what happened to Matt - but he'd expected the links to Kira to stir up more of a reaction.]

[And then Sullivan realizes that, for once, Mello isn't angry enough, which leaves him feeling even more uncomfortable.]

Guess he must be cleaning up after himself.

[He looks over at Mello and sees a flicker of something, gone too quickly for him to identify, and he remembers overhearing that conversation between him and Matt. Almost immediately he looks away, turning his attention back to the tv.]

The police say they didn't release any personal information. This is the first they're mentioning it.

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[He said he's keeping the names of anyone who ends up arrested out of the news... Isn't that what Matt had said when he passed along L's message? Just before-- just before the gunshot shattered their conversation, so his memory isn't as clear as it could have been.]

[Mello tosses a look at Sullivan.]

Then Kira has other venues to get his information from. We'll all have to be more careful in the future.

[He heads over to the dresser, letting the implication hang there and not answering any unasked questions. He tugs one of the drawers open and begins to shuffle through the contents.]

For now we have to cut our losses, and regroup with what we have. That's all. You can go, by the way.

[catchthemgone.livejournal.com]

[Something here is definitely amiss, and Sullivan isn't inexperienced enough not to guess what might have happened. Cut our losses? Mello certainly had no further use for Cohen, but...]

[But. Kira?]

Right... sorry for the interruption. Won't happen again.

[Sullivan pushes the thought out of his mind as he steps back out through the door, and hesitates just briefly, watching Mello's back for a few seconds before shutting the door behind him.]

[Some things were better not worrying about.]

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

[Matt glances back at Sullivan as he leaves, and doesn't move until the door clicks shut. In the second of silence afterward, he considers a number of different possible responses, but in the end he says nothing. Instead, he reaches over to the nightstand and picks up Mello's rosary - a line of red and silver beads, crucifix dangling from the end, twisting with his movements.]

[He looks at it for a moment, and then holds it out to Mello, silently.]

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Mello pauses as the door shuts and something scrapes across the bedside table, just out of his sight. Before he even lifts his head to look at Matt he knows what he'll see - of course Matt would figure it out without him even having to say anything. Of course.]

[And then he looks, and he sees the rosary swinging from Matt's hand, offered out to him. Immediately he feels a surge of... something, he's not sure what it is exactly, but it's not quite comfort, even while being comforting.]

[Still, he reaches over and takes the rosary, carefully, with his head bowed, and runs it through his fingers.]

That obvious?

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

It was to me.

[Matt watches Mello's fingers move over the beads, slim and pale and a little bit unsure. He points the remote at the television again, hits the power button, watches it flicker once before the screen goes black.]

Well. No one's going to miss that arsehole anyway.

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[He pulls the rosary slowly through his hands, stopping his fingers where appropriate (one, two, three) and continues even after the tv is switched off.]

[He'd been careful, but the truth was that it didn't matter if Matt, or anyone else, knew. In fact it might even bolster his reputation a little. And L...]

[If L knew, he would be disappointed, yes. Using Kira as a weapon for such a petty reason, for any reason, Mello couldn't see how he would be pleased with that. But it was done, and this disappointment would only be a drop in the bucket for him.]

It was necessary. He was too dangerous to leave alone.

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

He was a git.

[Matt keeps his gaze on Mello for a long moment, and then laughs a tiny bit, quietly.]

Hey, don't stay away.

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Mello lifts his head slightly and stops pulling as soon as he sees Matt's face. After a few seconds, he lets out a soft laugh and moves closer, standing just at the edge of the bed with the rosary wrapped around his hands.]

I wasn't.

This isn't an invitation for you to get all pushy.

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

I'm not.

[Matt rolls his eyes and reaches over, wrapping his fingers around Mello's wrist. It's absurdly thin, really. It can be difficult to believe such a thin man has so much fire, so much strength. He runs his fingers along the inside of Mello's wrist, slowly, almost idly.]

Anyway, it's...

[He wants to say "sweet," or "flattering." Something that acknowledges that he knows - knows why Mello did it, knows what it means. Because as convenient as it is to wipe out someone who knew too much, he knows Mello too well to believe that's where this started from.]

[But he doesn't say it. Instead, he tugs Mello's wrist, lightly at first, and then harder, leaving the words unsaid.]

[As for not getting pushy... well technically this is more pully, he decides as he gives Mello another, sharper tug.]

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[With a little grunt of resistance Mello lets himself get tugged, not quite grudgingly. The movement said enough about Matt's thoughts on the matter - he never minded things like this, even if he should. Never questioned.]

[After the little tug, Mello moves closer on his own, and then sits on the edge of the bed. Carefully he untwists the rosary from his fingers and holds it pressed between his palms, then looks up at Matt.]

[And grins slightly.]

You're a pain in the arse, you know that?

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

[Matt moves behind him, hugging him from behind lightly, chin resting on Mello's shoulder.]

Yeah, I heard something like that.

[He gives Mello a little squeeze]

But whatever. You've got to admit that wasn't pushy at all.

[With that, he turns his head a little, kissing the side of his neck. When he speaks again, his voice is low, muffled against Mello's skin.]

Sometimes, you've got to get shit done, I guess.

[He goes quiet after that.]

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Mello lets his eyes close for a moment and leans his weight back against Matt, and the warmth begins to creep back into the room. In reality it's just Matt's arms around his middle, and Matt's breath on his neck and Matt just there, but it spreads slowly until it floods everything.]

[He tilts his head back a little and looks at the ceiling. No disappointment here.]

Sometimes. I'd prefer it if I didn't have to, but...

[But he did. And he might have felt satisfied by it, just a little.]

Sometimes drastic measures are called for.

[He turns his head a bit as if to look at Matt, although he can't really, from this position.]

It was a little pushy.

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

I think you need to check your direction perception, mate. If I pushed you, you'd end up over there instead of over here.

[He motions vaguely away from the bed, and takes a deep breath. The smoke from his cigarette, still nestled between his fingers, drifts over Mello's shoulder and Matt inhales it, eyes closed, before holding it up, offering it to Mello. Well, he probably needs it more than Matt does, anyway.]

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Mello rolls his eyes even as he leans in to take a drag off of the offered cigarette, only lifting his hand up afterward to push it out of the way once he's finished.]

Right, now you're just being pedantic. Besides, you'd never shove me over there, prat.

[He exhales, letting the smoke twist around in front of him as it floats upward, and then looks down at the rosary resting in the palm of his hand, remembering how just a moment ago, Matt had handed it to him without comment, or judgment. How he'd known immediately.]

...hey, Matt.

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

Hm?

[He crosses his arm over Mello's chest, above Mello's shoulder, and takes a drag.]

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Almost instinctively Mello rests his hand against Matt's arm, holding it in place. With his free hand he twists the beads of the rosary, running his thumb along the edge of the crucifix and staying silent for a long moment.]

[His voice is quiet when he continues, and it sounds a little thicker than normal.]

Don't let me turn into someone like Kira.

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

[Matt presses his lips together, his eyes closed. For some reason, that... wasn't as surprising as it should be. It's not that he thinks Mello is in danger of being anything like that, not exactly. It's just that, well, it isn't surprising that he'd worry about, considering... everything.]

[Not that he'd ever show it.]

[Instead, he shakes his head a little, chin still on Mello's shoulder.]

Don't be barmy. That would never happen. Where did that even come from?

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Mello laughs softly before he can stop himself. Where did that come from? The idea had been there, waiting below the surface until the right moment to appear--]

Sometimes you've got to get shit done, hm? Kira thinks he's doing the right thing. It's perverse and unethical, but he's convinced it's right. That it's necessary. Someone like that will do anything to get the job done.

It's sort of like us, isn't it?

[And he stops then, and remembers the first time the concern surfaced, in a small room with the curtain drawn, and he hadn't thought of it before then but there were dark, sharp eyes watching him, and a story that frightened him, just a little.]

[Maybe Matt didn't think it would happen, but there were others who weren't so sure.]

He told me it was easy to be misled.

[toxinaddiction.livejournal.com]

[It takes a second to register what Mello said, and another split second to fully register that he has no idea what Mello is talking about - or more, who he's referring to. Maybe it's the comparison with Kira that's throwing him off (it's not wrong, but it still... well. He wants it to be wrong, if only for Mello's sake.) Maybe it's the... well he doesn't know what it is.]

[But once he registers it, he opens one eye and peers at Mello - or more, the veil of his hair - inhaling cigarette smoke and the scent of shampoo.]

What are you talking about?

[matchstickrule.livejournal.com]

[Mello presses his lips together for a moment. He'd never been explicitly asked not to tell anyone about that meeting (come to that, L had never been explicit about anything regarding the meeting) but it doesn't seem to matter now.]

[And he wants to tell, just this one time.]

[He rubs his face a bit, pushing his hair back - it's nearly dry now, but still a bit messy.]

Right. Remember that story I told you, about the successor who tried to challenge L? The one from LA. That wasn't a case file or anything. I heard it from the source. L told me.

[Mello pauses, then turns his head enough to look at Matt, at his expression.]

In person, I mean. I met him.