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matchstickrule.livejournal.com) wrote in
whatheyvedone2009-04-01 08:08 pm
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Mello, Matt
[Their time at the hotel is almost up. Meetings had been held, locations inspected, and everything was perched on the edge of being ready. But it wasn't quite, and Matt had, after all, insisted that Mello needed a break. A mental recovery period, as it were, to complement Matt's physical one. His back still hurts a bit, and there's a scar there, and when Mello's fingers brush over it his blood still runs cold. That should stop eventually, but it hasn't, yet.]
[That was the first problem with taking time off.]
[The second was, of course, the fact that Mello gets incredibly restless in a very short span of time, so any efforts in the name of relaxation are hopelessly wasted. And worse, it annoys him the way it always has, which leaves him feeling restless and irritable.]
[He takes a shower to calm his nerves but on the way out of the bathroom he pulls a towel over his head roughly, more to get the action over with than out of any real desire to get his hair dry. And he tries not to think about anything that might be happening outside of this room, with himself and Matt and the tv turned off so that he wouldn't end up compulsively watching the news again.]
[He leaves the towel draped around his neck as he heads straight to the nightstand and tugs the drawer open with a little grumble.]
[That was the first problem with taking time off.]
[The second was, of course, the fact that Mello gets incredibly restless in a very short span of time, so any efforts in the name of relaxation are hopelessly wasted. And worse, it annoys him the way it always has, which leaves him feeling restless and irritable.]
[He takes a shower to calm his nerves but on the way out of the bathroom he pulls a towel over his head roughly, more to get the action over with than out of any real desire to get his hair dry. And he tries not to think about anything that might be happening outside of this room, with himself and Matt and the tv turned off so that he wouldn't end up compulsively watching the news again.]
[He leaves the towel draped around his neck as he heads straight to the nightstand and tugs the drawer open with a little grumble.]
no subject
[But once he registers it, he opens one eye and peers at Mello - or more, the veil of his hair - inhaling cigarette smoke and the scent of shampoo.]
What are you talking about?
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[And he wants to tell, just this one time.]
[He rubs his face a bit, pushing his hair back - it's nearly dry now, but still a bit messy.]
Right. Remember that story I told you, about the successor who tried to challenge L? The one from LA. That wasn't a case file or anything. I heard it from the source. L told me.
[Mello pauses, then turns his head enough to look at Matt, at his expression.]
In person, I mean. I met him.
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[That, he definitely didn't expect. But as soon as the words come out, a million little puzzle pieces snap into place one at a time, at superspeed. One thing after another, explained until, in the end, it leaves one gaping hole of a question where a thousand tiny gaps had been.]
[Why?]
[It doesn't take long to answer that, either. He told me it was easy to be misled. Matt narrows his eyes slightly. Don't let me turn into someone like Kira. A... warning? A worry.]
[Matt snaps his gaze back to Mello's face, just the little bit visible from this angle.]
[He looks, but stays quiet, waiting.]
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[Mello doesn't turn his face away, but he looks downward as he continues.]
He never gave a real reason why, but he didn't have to. It was one of the stories he told me. He didn't want there to be any more failures. The first one died. B was the second.
[He closes his eyes briefly, going over the meeting again in his mind. L was cautious enough to speak to him directly; that was good and bad. And how had he been since then?]
I understood why B wanted to fight him. That's why I couldn't fall into that trap too.
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[Technically, Mello hadn't fallen into the same trap, had he? He'd withdrawn from the competition rather than following it off a cliff, although that brought to mind another question, namely why L would drag him back into it after all this time.]
[But no, that question isn't really open, is it? because alone, Mello had gone a little crazy, crossed every possible line right down to beating someone to death in an alleyway only days after they left home. So, a lesser risk - at least this way, Mello would be under some kind of surveillance.]
[And hadn't L told him to make sure Mello didn't do anything stupid? That alone said... something. Matt takes a second drag and nods a little.]
You didn't.
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I could have. He saw that. He wouldn't have spoken to me if he didn't.
[He looks at the floor, past his knees still wrapped in a towel, past his bare feet (and they look familiar, a little - he curls his toes under so they aren't anymore) at the carpet. And he recalls that distinct feeling that crept up his neck as he listened to L's story. Not just recognition, but understanding.]
I can't end up like that.
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Hey. Hey.
[Matt squeezes his eyes closed again, and tightens his arms around Mello. It's a little weird, now that he thinks of it, being the one on the outside, holding Mello up. Although in a sense, he always has.]
You're not going to end up like that. You're better than that.
[He reaches his free hand up, pushing back Mello's hair.]
And anyway. I wouldn't let you even if you wanted to.
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[He lets himself rest against Matt, holding onto his wrist with one hand, the rosary in the other. He closes his eyes and listens.]
[Is this what they'd come out here for?]
You'd better not.
[Mello turns slightly, to look at him.]
That means you really aren't allowed to get shot again, you know.
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[After a moment, he moves a bit, and nips Mello's ear, gently.]
Mm. But I'll do my best.
...anyway, who's going to look after you if not me?
[He grins a little then, and threads his fingers through Mello's hair.]
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I don't need looking after.
[Not that he couldn't, of course, and never considered himself reliant, but... but, even so, something would be missing.]
[He pauses to continue his protest, and then twists around more and kisses him instead. It's a little awkward from this angle, but he hopes it'll drive the point home just the same.]
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[And he knows that Mello doesn't really need looking after, not in any literal sense. Between the two of them, he's more capable, after all, and in a way it's always been Mello looking out for him. (Wasn't his first kill in Matt's defense? And this time, too.)]
[Still.]
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[He doesn't notice when the rosary falls from his hand, either. He hears it, vaguely, clicking in the background but then it stops, and he pulls Matt closer.]
[Even if they didn't expect to be here, it's a good place to end up.]